O N I O N K I D S

confession

2010-11-16T08:56:00.000-08:00

ada yang bilang, salah satu cara untuk berdamai diri sendiri adalah mencoba menerima, mengutarakan, dan merelakan.

banyak hal yang pengen saya utarakan. entah itu kekecewaan, kekelaman, tekanan.
padahal saya tau sekali, hidup saya sudah banyak diberkati.
yah namanya juga manusia, tetep ada keluh kesah.

nyesel banyak mimpi dan hal hal kecil yang gue gak lakuin.
kesal atas penghinaan namun apa daya, saya berontak=menambah masalah
penekanan untuk jadi orang yang sesuai dengan "apa yang mereka mau", bukan "diri saya apa adanya"

kadang saya ingin kabur. INGIN SEKALI.
saya masih ingat, rasa kebebasan, lepas dari jeratan kepenatan, meskipun itu sesaat.

things are getting different now, i just want what we used to so bad....

2010-10-23T07:57:00.000-07:00

please stay forever...

2010-10-23T07:54:00.000-07:00

why all the great things just go away and leave my life in emptiness? maybe i ask too much, i do laugh, i do spend my days with my boyf and my classmates, but ironically i feel UNCOMPLETE with you guys :'(

nothing lasts forever, but Thanks God i have the photos when the moment we used to be so i could see it, miss it and cry on it...

2010-10-23T07:52:00.001-07:00

i MISS spending my money every weekend with bolling, movies, and laughters of US.....

2010-10-23T07:32:00.001-07:00

i just want to tell it in english now, sorry if the grammar is so damn. haha.

well, it's almost 4 months, last time i spent my saturdays with my best gank ever; tw, kevin, lia, me, brian, and the other boys like obama, ong, hono.

i MISS all of the moment of us. yeah, but ~~fuck the reality that~~ we COULDN'T back to that time.

i won't blame it on you, no, because i know that you two can't be together, and even i hate the way you broke, but it's your choice.

and, ironically i feel that "me and lia" being exchanged by two other girls. i know i haven't any rights to disagree, but,when i see the way "they" joke, it hurts a bit..

i terribly miss senayan, sky dining, grand indonesia, timezone, bolling, artha gading, viva, bomb bomb car, DAMN I JUST MISS ALL THE MOMENTS I USED TO SPEND EVER SATURDAYS WITH MY GUYS!!!!

2010-10-08T06:37:00.000-07:00

i miss the time when you looked me in the eyes, saying that you love me without words

i want you to be NICE with me because it's been 2 fucking weeks, moron!

2010-10-08T06:36:00.001-07:00

2010-09-14T10:16:00.000-07:00

tangisan itu
memberi arti sesungguhnya
baik sakit maupun bahagia

2010-09-14T10:10:00.000-07:00

...dan seandainya aku dianggap gila
aku tak peduli
sungguh tak peduli
sepanjang aku bisa bebas mengatur hidupku
bebas
tanpa tekanan akan pandangan orang terhadapku

sayangnya
benteng itu tidak terhancurkan
terpatri kokoh

buat apalah arti kata waras
jika dalam hati kau merasa gila?
jika dalam hati kau merasa tak bisa menjadi diri sendiri?
jika dalam hati kau merasa tunduk pada orang lain?

-VT

evaluasi diri-->H-2

2010-08-20T05:24:00.000-07:00

waktu memang cepat berlalu. serasa baru kemarin saya berumur 15, dan 2 hari lagi saya berumur 16. terlalu cepat bahkan. haha...

saya bingung, sama temen saya yang bertanya "mau kado apa vi?"
kalo secara material, saya bisa sebutkan semuanya. mulai dari lensa barulah, lomo, polaroid, baju, sepatu, padahal hidup saya juga sudah berkecukupan tapi masih banyak maunya ya :P

sejujurnya, saya merasa, saya udah dapet hampir semua yang saya mau.
sahabat, teman, pacar, keluarga. ekonomi cukup. pendidikan baik. gizi yang tidak kekurangan sedikitpun.

cuma, seringkali, saya ini tetep balik ke sifat dasar manusia : banyak maunya.
sering gataudiri manja, seringlah nyerah sama tugas dan sekolah yang gada apa2nya dibanding jadi anak jalanan meskipun seari, cepat emosi tanpa mikir perasaan orang gimana, masih ngerasa diri miskin secara materi padahal udah mestinya bersyukur.

saya gak mau muluk-muluk di umur ke 16 ini. saya mau jadi lebih sabar, lebih jagag sikap, lebih dewasa. saya benci nambah umur berarti diingatkan kembali buat jadi lebih baik, sebagai kakak, teman, anak, pelajar, dan tanggung jawab dalam hidup nantinya.

saya mau jadi dewasa, bukan hanya sekedar usia. semoga saya bisa menjalankan apa yang saya tulis disini.

sing this to your special girl

2010-08-13T20:40:00.000-07:00

this could be greatest love song lyrics ever...

Don't Change-Musiq Soulchild

Lately you’ve been questioning if I still see you the same way
Cause through these trying years we gonna both physically change
Now don’t you know you’ll always be the most beautiful woman I know
So let me reassure you darling that my feelings are truly unconditional, see

(Chorus)
I'll love you when your hair turns grey girl
I still want you if you gained a little weight, yeah
The way I feel for you will always be the same
Just as long as your love don't change (no)
I was meant for you and you were meant for me, yeah
And I make sure that I'll be everything you need, Yeah
Girl the way we are is how it's gonna be
Just as long as your love don't change

Cause I’m not impressed more or less by them girls on the TV and magazines
Cause honestly I believe that your beauty is way more then skin deep
cause everything about you makes me feel I have the greatest gift in the world
And even when you get on my last nerve
I couldn’t see myself being with another girl

(Chorus)
I'll love you when your hair turns grey girl
I still want you if you gained a little weight, yeah
The way I feel for you will always be the same (just as long)
Just as long as your love don't change (just as long as your love yeah)
I was meant for you and you were meant for me, yeah (meant for me)
And I'll make sure that I'll be everything you need, yeah
Girl the way we are is how it's gonna be (just as long yeah)
Just as long as your love don't change (yeah)

So don’t waste your time worrying about
Small things that ain’t relevant to me
Cause to my understanding your all I want and need
See what I’m gonna say is I’m here to stay
And as long as your love doesn’t change for me
Baby darling I swear that i, I swear I ain’t going nowhere (no)

(Chorus)
I'll love you when your hair turns grey girl
And I still want you if you gained a little weight, yeah
The way I feel for you will always be the same (just as long)
Just as long as your love don't change (just as long as your love stays the
same yeah)
I was meant for you and you were meant for me, yeah (meant for me)
And I make sure that I'll be everything you need, yeah
Girl the way we are is how it's gonna be
Just as long as your love don't change

(Choir and Musiq)
You are my baby (you’re my baby yeah yeah)
Don’t you change baby (don’t you change baby no)
I love you I do know (baby you gotta understand that I love you baby yeah yeah)
(Don’t you know, you gotta know you got to know) (Yeah oh oh yeah)

...

2010-08-11T04:12:00.000-07:00

"carilah orang yang mampu memberikan segalanya tanpa pernah diminta. dicari tanpa pernah memanggil."

"gue tanya sama lo, dia pernah berkorban apa buat lu vi?"

i can't asnwer anything.

hate-love

2010-08-09T11:24:00.000-07:00

i hate to say it...

that i love you, and i really do.

hurted or afraid?

2010-08-07T23:23:00.000-07:00

it's been 12 hours... and i still half of my heart hasn't been recovered... lol.

i know, you were angry just because i was wrong. yeah, but... the way you angry, just, somehow makes me afraid. your anger just worse than my parents i thought.

it still stucks in my head, if one day i just can't stand anymore on it.. then i left you. i'm afraid i can't be patient.

and, somehow.... you could easily forget the pain while i'm not. and, "doing things on taxi" is the solution? for me, it's just a pain killer. idk. i hope that... i could simply forget what happened on last night.

cuek - bebek - BEBAS

2010-07-26T06:43:00.000-07:00

hari ini, lagi iseng blogwalking, nemu blog mba Noran Bakrie. sunnguh, menginspirasi dengan gaya ceplas ceplosnya. gue selama ini udah gak berani seperti itu, sedikit trauma dengan tulisan masa lalu gua. tetapi, sedikit buat melepas beban, gue mulai beranikan diri dengan ceplas ceplos.

gue merasa diri gue aneh. *please, jangan pake ini buat hinaan or think i was insane* kadang suka sedih sendiri, terlalu banyak mikir. tepatnya semua itu terjadi klo gue lagi sendirian. klo lagi bareng temen dan yang lain, gue gak merasakannya. am i freak? haha..

dan, gue suka mikir kadang, gue mulai melupakan jati diri gue.
gue melupakan diri gue yang demen ikut2 aktif di acara sosial, penyiar radio, etc.
somehow, gue ngerasa, gue cuma bisa nurut sama kemauan temenlah, seems if i said what i would, they wouldn't think the same. 'coz somehow, my thoughts are different. yeah.

cuma, selama ini, gue cuma bawa enjoy saja. mungkin ini jadi pelajaran buat gue, buat bisa berkata tidak dan... buat rencana dalam hidup gue, serta bersikap tegas.

help

2010-07-09T11:51:00.000-07:00

Tuhan, bantu saya..... untuk meyakinkan saya, klo saya benar2 sayang sama dia.
saya mungkin terlalu muda dan naif untuk ini, tapi sungguh, saya tidak mau lepas dari dia

words 2

2010-07-09T11:50:00.000-07:00

"He is the second part of me, I miss him when I can’t see, touch, smell, taste, hear him. I see him in my present, and future, and want him to be there always. I can say I truly, and with every inch and spec of my heart love him."

page 430

2010-07-09T11:19:00.000-07:00

"Saya belajar dari kisah hidup seseorang. Hati tidak pernah memilih. Hati dipilih. Jadi, kalau Keenan bilang, Keenan telah memilih saya, selamanya Keenan tidak akan pernah tulus mencintai saya. Karena hati tidak perlu memilih. Ia selalu tahu ke mana harus berlabuh." - Perahu Kertas by Dewi Lestari

tolol

2010-07-08T21:03:00.001-07:00

[6/13/2010 10:31:26 PM] Brian Indiarto: gua cium lo
[6/13/2010 10:31:28 PM] Brian Indiarto: GRRRRR
[6/13/2010 10:31:29 PM] Brian Indiarto: wkakakakaka
[6/13/2010 10:31:30 PM] Vianna T: ............
[6/13/2010 10:31:32 PM] Vianna T: kabur
[6/13/2010 10:31:38 PM] Brian Indiarto: kabur k mana
[6/13/2010 10:31:41 PM] Brian Indiarto: ke arah gua?
[6/13/2010 10:31:43 PM] Brian Indiarto: wkakakakakakakaka
[6/13/2010 10:31:53 PM] Brian Indiarto: lalalala
[6/13/2010 10:31:54 PM] Vianna T: GEER
[6/13/2010 10:31:56 PM] Brian Indiarto: lalalalalala
[6/13/2010 10:31:58 PM] Vianna T: gue kabur kmana2
[6/13/2010 10:32:00 PM] Vianna T: alalalallalala
[6/13/2010 10:32:01 PM] Vianna T: alalaay

words

2010-07-08T18:55:00.000-07:00

" but age is honestly nothing but a number."

"... counting down everyday until I get to kiss him again! "

"The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead."

"He’s my best friend and I love him so much. :]"

"One month but i love him sooooo much!! "

" A never ending lovestory "

I’ve

never encountered anyone like you before. You’re caring, intelligent, cute, funny, creative, talented, passionate, truthful…and you possess so many other amazing qualities. But what gets me most of all is how deeply and truly you feel about me, how open you are, how committed you are to me. How you are not afraid to let me know how you’re feeling, how you have empathy. You are truly everything I’ve ever wanted in a husband, and even more, that I didn’t know I wanted and it’s crazy that I have you now, at the tender age of eighteen. I actually was beginning to think that no one existed like what I desired, well, at least no one I knew or would know, and I was prepared to settle for much less in the end. I cannot express how happy I am that you told me you liked me, and shared this part of you with me. I am so thankful for you. Every single day, I am grateful to have you in my life, not only as my boyfriend, but my absolute best friend. We just mesh so well also, I know we wouldn’t have any major problems later on in life. It’s simple really. I put your happiness above mine, and you do the same, and it’s perfect.

I love you so much. I can’t to wake up each morning in your arms and never have to say a tearful goodbye again. You are my world."

"I couldn’t be more excited to have him by my side while we grow up and plan our future. i carry your heart"

"AMAZING BOYFRIEND. I can’t imagine being with anyone else ever."

"He makes me happy."

"I miss him everyday.I truly thought I was going to marry him."

"and you are worth the risk."

"My best friend, my partner in crime, my main amigo. "

"here’s to hoping i’ll never be without you. i love you

"I don’t know if he knows how much he means to me. He’s honestly the most precious thing I have."

" We’ve been a roller coaster ride, but in the end, I always find myself back to him.

"I don’t care what everyone else thinks. We are happy."

"...but he remains the most wonderful, real love I’ve ever known..."

"I’m slowly finding out what love is. Very. Slowly. He’s great."

" He is the best boyfriend ever and makes me feel like the luckiest girl on the planet and I love him to death."

Me and my boy.

Never thought we’d hit it off this well. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted and I’ve realized it after a month of constantly talking on line and going out with him. I’ve fallen for him and I’m sure he knows what he’s getting himself in to. ♥"

". Although we fight, I do belive I’m in love with him. He’s the boy that makes me believe that high school relationships can last. :)"

"I’ll always love him, no matter the obstacle!"

ich vermisse dich schlecht

2010-07-07T18:45:00.000-07:00

...i miss you.

yo(u)

2010-07-06T09:11:00.000-07:00

sejujurnya, aku sendiri bingung mau nulis apa... banyak hal di kepala, tapi stuck buat ngetik, haha...

hey kamu !
mendadak aku pengen cerita, ttg hubungan kita, yang freak, kacau, tapi begonya bikin aku inget kamu TIAP HARI. haha...

kamu itu... hmm, aku seriusan gak pernah mimpi kita bakal jadi "p-a-c-a-r" seperti sekarang...

aku sendiri, masih samar-samar kenapa aku bisa deket sama kamu. kamu bilang, kita deket gara2 lab fisika, padahal, dibenak aku, kita deket awal mulanya gara2 aku iseng ajak kamu chatting di msn, curhat ttg mantan kamu dan mantan aku dan gebetan kita ber2 WAHAHAHAHA...!

dulu, memang, seperti yang kamu tau dari lia dan tri *gag asik abis lah*, aku emang pengen punya cowo, yang sifatnya kayak kamu. konyol, bodoh, ngelawak, tapi sabar BANGET, dan.. bisa ngebuat aku lebih baik (gak cuma fisika, perilaku juga)

dulu, aku juga, gak pernah mikir, kita bisa jadi sperti sekarang, karena, kita sendiri punya gebetan masing2. kamu curhat ke aku sperti aku curhat ke kamu. dan aku cuma anggep sahabat, karena aku sendiri yakin waktu itu kamu sayang chaike, dan keliatan chaike ada rasa, toh buat aku sahabat pun aku cukup.

dan, 3 tanggal itu, 8-10-11 Juni, kamu pasti inget :D
kamu selalu katain aku pikun, tapi, kamu tau gak? aku selalu inget2 3 tanggal itu setiap hari, khususnya tanggal 11... meskipun sering aku mikir "apa gue cewe murahan yah? mau ajah digituin secepet itu..." tapi dalem hati aku lebih bersyukur, bisa punya setiap momen sama kamu :P

and, when i said, "jangan tinggalin gue... gue gak peduli status apapun yang penting sama lu..." i really mean it.

i choose you, not for a day, a week, a month, or even a year. i hope you for a lifetime :'D

could you...

2010-06-15T07:58:00.000-07:00

simply, STOP talk about her?? F

trying to... believe again?

2010-04-05T08:56:00.000-07:00

"really, i'm stuck. i just... still (lil bit) HARD to believe a LOVE in RELATIONSHIP...."

i'm trying to... yeah, over you. and, so far... Yes, i COULD. but, if i SEE you tomorrow, i don't know what will happen next....

past memories - 2007

2010-02-20T00:50:00.001-08:00

when we were YOUNG... (:

portraits : ME

2010-02-19T23:30:00.000-08:00

round and around

2010-02-19T23:07:00.001-08:00